[Point taken: he lets it be for now, but fully intends to revisit it at some point in the future if he doesn't overhear the conversation first. Not unlikely, depending on where and when it occurs.]
And I'm not built for retirement.
[And yet he'd kept his promise.
He's being looked at.
He looks back at Sanemi.
And then it's his turn to shove at him. Also not hard, but also making a point: he wouldn't be a (former) hashira if he was all flashy nonsense and no substance, here.]
But I'm going to slack off here a little. Everyone keeps saying how bad it can get, but I haven't seen it. Going to take the chance to have a little fun while we can, apparently, and you should learn how, too.
[It's teasing, in a way, but also... not. Trying to take advantage of some of "this peacetime shit" while it exists to prevent burning out later could do them some good.]
Won't slack on training with you, though. Not that much of an ass.
[They just can't do that 24/7, as much as Sanemi may or may not want to.]
[ Yeah, okay, fine. Point taken. It isn't a lack of respect on his part — far from it. If he didn't respect Uzui to the extent he does they wouldn't be here. He would have spat an insult at the mere mention of Genya, or stormed off the minute Uzui suggested he do anything but antagonize a demon.
Alright, so maybe his impromptu retirement had some merit. Or maybe he was actually a sad sack of a sap and was begrudgingly beginning to weigh the value of working with others or whatever the hell. ]
Fine, fine. Whatever.
[ Actually. Speaking of "fun". Something Rengoku had told him while he was being an utter terror to sit next to in that mess hall abruptly blips back into existence in Sanemi's brain. Rather than saying anything immediately, he stares off into space for a solid ten to fifteen seconds.
He might not have sneaked a peek the other day, but with the way he's looking at Uzui out of the corner of his eye this might as well count. ]
...That reminds me. Rengoku told me... some. Thing. [ Smooth. Is he going to say anything else? Nope, that's it apparently. Good segue. ]
[Working with others is good, actually. It's the whole "being a self-sacrificing dumbass" in front of others who will have Words about that when it starts to become a problem.
And, well, that dismissive agreement is still agreement. He'll take what he can get and let the subject change...
And what a subject change.]
He's good at that. [Man's a yapper-] You gotta give me more than that.
[ Good luck trying to convince any of them to not firmly put themselves in the line of fire for each other, yeah. That same issue has been multiplied across all of them so many times that the moment they scold each other for it it instantly becomes hypocritical.
But we're back to not looking at Uzui. In fact, Sanemi has swiveled his head away to the point that his voice will sound a little distant, because he's also speaking at a markedly lower volume than usual. ]
About you, him, and Kocho. [ No, he isn't going to mention the demon. He's also not going to elaborate. God fucking forbid. ]
[Tengen is actively not looking forward to the hurculean task it will be to convince any new spouses of the "You first, then others, then me." Mindset. He's not entirely convinced his current wives are fully on board with it.
But. Oh, he's looking away again. He's... shy? Going to believe he's shy until proven otherwise.]
Yeah, for how many times he told me I have too many wives, he's collected quite a few partners himself.
[He is including the demon, unfortunately. But also the flirty Thing with Flamebringer counts, too, as far as he's concerned, even if they aren't technically partners.]
[ The not-so-secret secret at this point is that not only is Sanemi actively shy, but he is also incredibly inept when it came to relationships of nearly any kind. So, yeah, he's looking away. If Uzui ever fucking calls him that though there will be hell to pay.
Where was he even going with this again? Why does he even care? He doesn't care. Who gives a shit if they're all – doing whatever the hell they're doing with each other. ]
...Alright...
[ Great job, Sanemi. Master class in asking questions about others. ]
[ Truthfully, he put so little stock in relationships for such a significant stretch of his life that he finds it difficult to conceptualize any aspect of them. What people chose to do in their personal, idyllic lives was unimportant to him. The only reason he is even bringing it up now is...
Well. He doesn't actually know. He doesn't know why he cares. He also doesn't know why the idea of talking about it is setting him this on edge. There's a part of him that feels more primed to run for the hills over this discussion than anything else they'd discussed prior. ]
Rengoku tried and I almost stabbed him with a fucking fork. I will do the same to you, jackass. Don't fucking try me.
[Meanwhile, Tengen's experience was the stark opposite - he'd had to tear apart relationships that should have been important with his own hands. He was taught to treat his partners as disposable resources.
It's no wonder, then, he railed against that notion so hard he ended up at the complete polar opposite.
So it's clear Sanemi cares. Getting to the why will be the difficult part, but Tengen Uzui is not afraid of a little harmless challenge.]
Been stabbed with worse.
[So sure. Come at him with a fork, punk.]
You don't ask about things that don't matter.
[Using your prickly no-nonsense ass against you shamelessly, here.]
[ It will likely never be said unless they sit in that enchanted mess hall for a whole year, but there was something to be said about how seamlessly it seemed like Uzui meshed with people. It wasn't something that Sanemi envied, per se, because it assuredly would have disrupted his whole self-sacrificial life plan, but it was...
The thought ends there. He refuses to commit to it. There's a restlessness that he can't quite put his finger on, one that's been brewing over the last few days. It's exacerbating his irritation, but not in a meaningful way at the moment.
He is fidgeting, though. Visibly trying to work through it in his head, the whole nine yards. ]
Fuck off. Maybe this is how I get in the habit.
[ That exasperation returns to the forefront, but it isn't directed at Uzui. ]
[That's the thing - you can mesh well with others and have a whole self-sacrifical life plan. The problem is when those others decide to get in the way.
Sanemi's fidgeting. Tengen is the picture of calm as he chooses his next words carefully...
Or tries to, anyway.]
Terrible habit. Then you'll have to make small talk.
[He leans a bit to the side, just enough to initiate contact of Sanemi's shoulder to his bicep. Nothing like the annoying arm thrown around him of days prior.]
[ Sanemi at least has the awareness to know when he is being coaxed into something. Maybe that's the point. It doesn't mean that he takes well to the coaxing, even when it's as unassuming as mildly initiated contact. He flinches like Uzui has shocked him for the second time that week.
He shifts his hand, bracing the side of his thumb against his mouth. He doesn't shy away, but there's an unpredictable nervousness in the way he gnaws at the skin.
Maybe the tips of his ears are tinged pink. Maybe it's just hot outside. Maybe he's a basket case who doesn't know how to even begin conceptualizing what he might want to gain from all this. ]
[Sanemi flinches, but doesn't pull away, and that's honestly more than Tengen thought would - or wouldn't - happen. He expected yelling. Maybe a pull away, a punch to his shoulder or jaw.
There's apparent nervousness and the start of a blush on the tips of ears instead.]
[ He’s regretting bringing this up. He’s regretting this. Why is he even having this conversation. This was such a dumb fucking idea, and the fact he isn’t reacting right is at the forefront of his mind so loudly that he can hardly think.
Or maybe that’s his blood suddenly pounding in his ears. His throat feels tight. He should do something to wipe the look off Uzui's face. He should get up, or punch him, or gnash his teeth until whatever inkling of an idea has budded here is firmly withered.
Sanemi's hands curl into fists so tight in his lap that his knuckles turn white. ]
Figure it out how.
[ Stupid, stupid, idiot. Dumbass. Stop while you’re ahead. Whatever this is, it’s none of your business. ]
[Oh, man, this is really... well, it's hard to say it's bothering Sanemi entirely, with how he's reacting... but it's not not, either... hmm...
He decides to take a chance and reach out to put his hand gently over Sanemi's, light enough that he can pull away easily, but present enough that he can feel shared warmth and strength and even the unique pattern of callouses on his palm and fingers.]
Say whatever's in your head. Trust me when I say I won't laugh or tell anyone you don't want me to.
[The secrets of his odd, scary feelings can be between them and the trees if he wants.]
[ For some reason, the sudden brush and weight of Uzui's hand over his makes Sanemi flinch harder than he had prior. The blood pounding in his ears, the distant heat – it centralizes on his face in an unbidden, true flush.
Sanemi Shinazugawa blushes from having his hand held and being asked about his feelings. His hand even twitches.
The urge to punch Uzui in the face has never been stronger in Sanemi's entire life. What the hell did he think this was? Who the hell did he think Sanemi was? He wasn’t some – blushing maiden that stuttered and swooned over ridiculous lines. (Except he was kind of acting that way).
He audibly sucks air in through his teeth. The tension in his hand alone blooms throughout the rest of his body: stiff shoulders and a rigid spine. ]
I haven't laughed at how hard your heart is beating.
[His tone is light, just on the edge between teasing and sincerity. He knows it's a risk, reminding him that the sound hashira's hearing is good enough to catch his racing pulse, but some part of him hopes it'll prove his words, too. He's had plenty of time already to give him a hard time about whatever unspoken feelings have his body screaming that he's a flustered, blushing maiden. But he hadn't. And now he was telling him he wouldn't, even if those feelings were articulated.
But he also has to pull it back to... something like normal, lest the tension snap like a bowstring wound too taut.]
Okay, I might a little. You can deck me for it if I do. Or stab me with a fork about it at dinner, if that's better.
[ It flies out of his mouth nigh on instinctually. The acknowledgment, intentional or not, serves as a reminder as sobering as a cold splash of water to the face: he is acting fucking ridiculous. The fact he had even allowed himself to slip up this dramatically spears shame through his chest so violently that he nearly feels sick.
Sanemi wrenches himself free so quickly he might as well actively be fleeing. He goes from prickly embarrassment to hackles raised so rapidly he wouldn’t be surprised if it seemed to have come out of absolutely nowhere.
But, surely it wouldn’t be that much of a shock? He had always acted like this. Incredibly difficult to get close to. Irrationally angry. Harsh beyond reason.
He doesn’t actually run. He stands up, shoulders hiked up to his ears, but he doesn’t run. ]
[It's Sanemi - outbursts like this are the norm, and if it were anyone else it would feel strange, seem like it brewed from nothing, such isn't the case here.
If anything, Tengen is more surprised he stays.
So he draws back to himself, stays seated on the ground, lets his hand settle back in his own lap, and looks up at the other hashira's back.]
Sure. [He, personally, loves to lean in to big feelings, loves to express himself! Be flashy! But he's aware enough of others to know that feeling stupid about just that... is not at all uncommon.] But you're not, unless you run away.
[A little bit of a challenge, a little bit of temptation to prove himself. Maybe it'll work.]
[ Sanemi does seriously consider leaving. And then he remembers that Uzui had sat next to his sleeping form for two hours. Had gotten him a fucking blanket. Was apparently one of very few to make it through in the end, and for some godforsaken reason it keeps his feet tethered to the ground.
Among other things. Those as of yet unvoiced, difficult feelings.
With a hiss, Sanemi wheels about and marches back up to Uzui. He does not seat himself again. Not yet, at least. He hasn’t decided whether he’s fully committed to this course of action yet, but he is begrudgingly willing to rise to the challenge. (He also finds some secret enjoyment over being the one to tower over Uzui for once, shh). ]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2026-04-07 04:55 pm (UTC)And I'm not built for retirement.
[And yet he'd kept his promise.
He's being looked at.
He looks back at Sanemi.
And then it's his turn to shove at him. Also not hard, but also making a point: he wouldn't be a (former) hashira if he was all flashy nonsense and no substance, here.]
But I'm going to slack off here a little. Everyone keeps saying how bad it can get, but I haven't seen it. Going to take the chance to have a little fun while we can, apparently, and you should learn how, too.
[It's teasing, in a way, but also... not. Trying to take advantage of some of "this peacetime shit" while it exists to prevent burning out later could do them some good.]
Won't slack on training with you, though. Not that much of an ass.
[They just can't do that 24/7, as much as Sanemi may or may not want to.]
no subject
Date: 2026-04-07 05:08 pm (UTC)Alright, so maybe his impromptu retirement had some merit. Or maybe he was actually a sad sack of a sap and was begrudgingly beginning to weigh the value of working with others or whatever the hell. ]
Fine, fine. Whatever.
[ Actually. Speaking of "fun". Something Rengoku had told him while he was being an utter terror to sit next to in that mess hall abruptly blips back into existence in Sanemi's brain. Rather than saying anything immediately, he stares off into space for a solid ten to fifteen seconds.
He might not have sneaked a peek the other day, but with the way he's looking at Uzui out of the corner of his eye this might as well count. ]
...That reminds me. Rengoku told me... some. Thing. [ Smooth. Is he going to say anything else? Nope, that's it apparently. Good segue. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-04-07 05:15 pm (UTC)And, well, that dismissive agreement is still agreement. He'll take what he can get and let the subject change...
And what a subject change.]
He's good at that. [Man's a yapper-] You gotta give me more than that.
no subject
Date: 2026-04-07 05:30 pm (UTC)But we're back to not looking at Uzui. In fact, Sanemi has swiveled his head away to the point that his voice will sound a little distant, because he's also speaking at a markedly lower volume than usual. ]
About you, him, and Kocho. [ No, he isn't going to mention the demon. He's also not going to elaborate. God fucking forbid. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-04-07 05:42 pm (UTC)But. Oh, he's looking away again. He's... shy? Going to believe he's shy until proven otherwise.]
Yeah, for how many times he told me I have too many wives, he's collected quite a few partners himself.
[He is including the demon, unfortunately. But also the flirty Thing with Flamebringer counts, too, as far as he's concerned, even if they aren't technically partners.]
no subject
Date: 2026-04-07 05:50 pm (UTC)Where was he even going with this again? Why does he even care? He doesn't care. Who gives a shit if they're all – doing whatever the hell they're doing with each other. ]
...Alright...
[ Great job, Sanemi. Master class in asking questions about others. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-04-07 06:01 pm (UTC)But it's... kind of obvious he cares. Being socially inept also means it's hard to hide when you care.
And, okay, he's not acting like Genya had when asked about Muichiro and Senjuro... but he's also not not acting like that. Interesting.]
Alright? That's it? Don't make me catch you at dinner, Shinazugawa.
[He is provably not above using truth magic to meddle in matters of the heart.]
no subject
Date: 2026-04-07 06:12 pm (UTC)Well. He doesn't actually know. He doesn't know why he cares. He also doesn't know why the idea of talking about it is setting him this on edge. There's a part of him that feels more primed to run for the hills over this discussion than anything else they'd discussed prior. ]
Rengoku tried and I almost stabbed him with a fucking fork. I will do the same to you, jackass. Don't fucking try me.
[ He throws a hand up in exasperation. ]
What the fuck does it matter? I was just asking!
no subject
Date: 2026-04-07 06:24 pm (UTC)It's no wonder, then, he railed against that notion so hard he ended up at the complete polar opposite.
So it's clear Sanemi cares. Getting to the why will be the difficult part, but Tengen Uzui is not afraid of a little harmless challenge.]
Been stabbed with worse.
[So sure. Come at him with a fork, punk.]
You don't ask about things that don't matter.
[Using your prickly no-nonsense ass against you shamelessly, here.]
no subject
Date: 2026-04-07 06:40 pm (UTC)The thought ends there. He refuses to commit to it. There's a restlessness that he can't quite put his finger on, one that's been brewing over the last few days. It's exacerbating his irritation, but not in a meaningful way at the moment.
He is fidgeting, though. Visibly trying to work through it in his head, the whole nine yards. ]
Fuck off. Maybe this is how I get in the habit.
[ That exasperation returns to the forefront, but it isn't directed at Uzui. ]
I don't fucking know. It was just on my mind.
no subject
Date: 2026-04-07 07:12 pm (UTC)Sanemi's fidgeting. Tengen is the picture of calm as he chooses his next words carefully...
Or tries to, anyway.]
Terrible habit. Then you'll have to make small talk.
[He leans a bit to the side, just enough to initiate contact of Sanemi's shoulder to his bicep. Nothing like the annoying arm thrown around him of days prior.]
Anything else on your mind?
no subject
Date: 2026-04-07 07:28 pm (UTC)He shifts his hand, bracing the side of his thumb against his mouth. He doesn't shy away, but there's an unpredictable nervousness in the way he gnaws at the skin.
Maybe the tips of his ears are tinged pink. Maybe it's just hot outside. Maybe he's a basket case who doesn't know how to even begin conceptualizing what he might want to gain from all this. ]
...Dunno.
no subject
Date: 2026-04-07 08:55 pm (UTC)There's apparent nervousness and the start of a blush on the tips of ears instead.]
Wanna figure it out?
no subject
Date: 2026-04-07 09:26 pm (UTC)Or maybe that’s his blood suddenly pounding in his ears. His throat feels tight. He should do something to wipe the look off Uzui's face. He should get up, or punch him, or gnash his teeth until whatever inkling of an idea has budded here is firmly withered.
Sanemi's hands curl into fists so tight in his lap that his knuckles turn white. ]
Figure it out how.
[ Stupid, stupid, idiot. Dumbass. Stop while you’re ahead. Whatever this is, it’s none of your business. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-04-08 12:32 am (UTC)He decides to take a chance and reach out to put his hand gently over Sanemi's, light enough that he can pull away easily, but present enough that he can feel shared warmth and strength and even the unique pattern of callouses on his palm and fingers.]
Say whatever's in your head. Trust me when I say I won't laugh or tell anyone you don't want me to.
[The secrets of his odd, scary feelings can be between them and the trees if he wants.]
Cannot understate how much he is fighting for his life
Date: 2026-04-08 02:42 am (UTC)Sanemi Shinazugawa blushes from having his hand held and being asked about his feelings. His hand even twitches.
The urge to punch Uzui in the face has never been stronger in Sanemi's entire life. What the hell did he think this was? Who the hell did he think Sanemi was? He wasn’t some – blushing maiden that stuttered and swooned over ridiculous lines. (Except he was kind of acting that way).
He audibly sucks air in through his teeth. The tension in his hand alone blooms throughout the rest of his body: stiff shoulders and a rigid spine. ]
You won’t laugh? Bullshit.
Heehoo
Date: 2026-04-08 06:59 am (UTC)[His tone is light, just on the edge between teasing and sincerity. He knows it's a risk, reminding him that the sound hashira's hearing is good enough to catch his racing pulse, but some part of him hopes it'll prove his words, too. He's had plenty of time already to give him a hard time about whatever unspoken feelings have his body screaming that he's a flustered, blushing maiden. But he hadn't. And now he was telling him he wouldn't, even if those feelings were articulated.
But he also has to pull it back to... something like normal, lest the tension snap like a bowstring wound too taut.]
Okay, I might a little. You can deck me for it if I do. Or stab me with a fork about it at dinner, if that's better.
no subject
Date: 2026-04-08 07:24 am (UTC)[ It flies out of his mouth nigh on instinctually. The acknowledgment, intentional or not, serves as a reminder as sobering as a cold splash of water to the face: he is acting fucking ridiculous. The fact he had even allowed himself to slip up this dramatically spears shame through his chest so violently that he nearly feels sick.
Sanemi wrenches himself free so quickly he might as well actively be fleeing. He goes from prickly embarrassment to hackles raised so rapidly he wouldn’t be surprised if it seemed to have come out of absolutely nowhere.
But, surely it wouldn’t be that much of a shock? He had always acted like this. Incredibly difficult to get close to. Irrationally angry. Harsh beyond reason.
He doesn’t actually run. He stands up, shoulders hiked up to his ears, but he doesn’t run. ]
This is fucking stupid.
no subject
Date: 2026-04-08 07:36 am (UTC)If anything, Tengen is more surprised he stays.
So he draws back to himself, stays seated on the ground, lets his hand settle back in his own lap, and looks up at the other hashira's back.]
Sure. [He, personally, loves to lean in to big feelings, loves to express himself! Be flashy! But he's aware enough of others to know that feeling stupid about just that... is not at all uncommon.] But you're not, unless you run away.
[A little bit of a challenge, a little bit of temptation to prove himself. Maybe it'll work.]
no subject
Date: 2026-04-08 11:15 am (UTC)Among other things. Those as of yet unvoiced, difficult feelings.
With a hiss, Sanemi wheels about and marches back up to Uzui. He does not seat himself again. Not yet, at least. He hasn’t decided whether he’s fully committed to this course of action yet, but he is begrudgingly willing to rise to the challenge. (He also finds some secret enjoyment over being the one to tower over Uzui for once, shh). ]
Fuck you. Fine.